


In my head and my heart.

by crystals__99



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22920817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystals__99/pseuds/crystals__99
Summary: Set after Hayley’s death (5x07), Hope is struggling after losing her mother and she still can’t be physically near her father. Klaus has a heart to heart with Hope through astral projection. He remembers the woman he loved and how he still sees her.
Relationships: Hayley Marshall & Hope Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson/Camille O'Connell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	In my head and my heart.

Klaus was alone in his room staring at the painting he just finished. For the first time he painted something that was a bit more than an abstract concept or a landscape. It was mostly a shadow, surrounded by a blue light that faded more and more in the dark. He wished that the light around that figure could be good, but it wasn’t. It was consuming him with rage. He felt his demons more alive than ever. He was the most powerful being on earth, immortal, and yet he felt powerless. He was lost and for the first time didn’t know what else to do to fix things. 

Hayley was gone and Hope was hurting. And he couldn’t even be near her. He felt like he was failing his daughter. Like he was failing Hayley for not being there for Hope. But he also knew that Hayley would tell him otherwise. He could feel her voice in her head, just like he could feel Cami’s. 

She was always there. Sometimes, when the magic inside him began to be too much to bear, his mind would make him see her, talk to her. Just like he did when he was chained by Marcel for five years.  
Looking at the painting he couldn’t help but recall the time when he and Camille first met. 

He was approaching to the blonde woman who was watching this artist paint in Jackson’s square. When he was close enough he recognized she was the bartender he defended a few moments before. She turned her head to look at him and smiled. 

*Flashback*

“The hundred dollar guy.” 

He smiled too.

“The brave bartender.” 

The he noticed she had her name pinned to her shirt. 

“Camille. French name.”

“It’s a grandma’s name. Call me Cami. He’s amazing, isn’t he?”

“Do you paint?” 

“No but I admire. Every artist has a story you know.”

“And what do you suppose his story is?”

“He’s angry. Dark. Doesn’t feel safe and doesn’t know what to do about it. He wishes he could control his demons instead of having his demons control him. He’s lost. Alone..” 

*End flashback*

Suddenly he was pulled out of his thoughts. He was visibly shaken by his memory. He was about to tear up but Klaus Mikaelson can’t do that. He’s not that weak.  
As he hears at his phone ringing he reads Freya’s name on the screen. He takes a moment to compose himself before he answers.

“Freya.” 

“Hey Nik. It’s time.” 

“Yes. Take me to her.” 

He waited for Freya to do the spell from where she was. After a few moments he was projected in Hope’s room. She was painting too. He couldn’t help but smile seeing her just like him. She was probably lost in her thoughts since she didn’t seem to feel his presence.

“Hello sweetheart.”

She instantly turned around with the brush still in her hand. She gave him a forced smile and got up to face him.

“Hi dad.”

“How are you today?” 

She sat on the bed and looked down at the floor and sighed.

“Do you have another question?”

His face fell and felt pain just looking at her hurting like this. He always did everything in his power to protect her no matter what, but he didn’t know how he could protect her from the pain of losing her mother.  
He sat by her side and tried to find the words to comfort her.

“What you’re feeling right now, this..despair, this pain, this guilt. It will slowly fade. You’ll survive this. We will survive this, together. We are the Mikaelsons, and nothing can break us.”

“But this is too much. I can’t see a life without her, I can’t. I need her, dad. I wake up every day and I just want to see mom. But I can’t. I will never see her again.”

“You will, sweetheart. Just not for a long, long time. So you have to stay strong and live the life she wanted you to have.”

She was crying silently and looked down for a moment before looking at her father again with tears all over her cheeks. 

“Have you ever loved someone so much that losing them made you think that life was pointless at that point?” 

He tried not to break at the thought of Camille. His daughter needed comfort and he had to give it to her. 

“Yes, I did.” He paused for a moment and let out a little smile. “Her name was Camille.”

“You never talked to me about her.”

“She..died, when you were little. She died in my arms. I didn’t think I could go past the pain at first, but then I did.”

“How?”

“I carry her with me. She made me a better man, you know. I used to think that love was weakness, but she proved me wrong. I used not to care, until I started caring about her. I used not to trust anyone, not even my own family, until I started trusting her. And what was important to her started being important to me. I didn’t care about just surviving anymore. She showed me there was always a better way. And not even centuries will erase what she’s been to me.” 

Hope was looking at him with tenderness. Never had she seen her father talking so highly about someone. He stared at her until he spoke again. 

“Losing your mother is losing a big part of yourself, I know that. But do as I did. Carry her with you, because she’s in you. She’s every good part of yourself. And I’m glad that the best of her is in you. And remember, no matter what happens, we are always and forever. Your mother is still part of that.”

She smiled between tears and probably for the first time was thinking about her mother without feeling the pain. Seeing her smile made him feel relieved. Thankfully he managed to comfort her and this was enough to appease his demons.  
Suddenly Hope’s phone rang. It was Freya probably telling them that time was up. They smiled at each other since they were unable to touch and actually hug. It was another reason that made Hope feel sad, not being able to feel her father. But deep down she knew he was doing it for her. It was always all for her. 

He disappeared after a few seconds. Suddenly Klaus was back in his room. Alone. Continents far away from New Orleans. He looked around and he gritted his jaw in discomfort. Seeing Hope was a way to escape from his demons but now he was back to face them. Without being strong enough to fight them. He closed his eyes hoping that his angel would appear to him. As he opened them he let out a deep breath as if he had been holding it. Camille was standing in front of him, with her back against the bricks of the fireplace and her arms crossed to her chest. She looked at him with tenderness. 

“What’s going on? And don’t tell me that -you can’t do this anymore-.”

“It’s true. I can’t.”

“Klaus, you have Hope to think about. She needs you.”

“And I need you.”

He looked at her with tears in his eyes and his lower lip trembling, trying again not to break. Camille sighed and looked at him with a sad face. 

“I’m here.” 

“You’re just in my head.”

“You’re not so good at following your own advices you know?” 

“She’s stronger. She has a whole life ahead of her, I don’t want her to be broken just like I am.” 

“Klaus? Look at me.”

She sat next to him and made him turn his eyes on her, staring in her ocean blue eyes, almost drowning in them. He always felt breathless whenever he had her eyes so close to him. He could see good. He could see hope. He could see salvation. That’s why she was his angel without wings, that’s why she was there in his moments of despair. Because she was the only one able to save him from himself. She always has been. 

“When I met you, you were probably the most despicable person I had ever met. But I didn’t give up on you. I stood by your side. I saw you become a new man. A better one. You’re not broken, Klaus. You’re the best version of you I could ever hope you’d become.” 

“So it was all part of your exorcism? Make me fall in love with you?” 

She smiled widely as he couldn’t hide a little smile himself. 

“Maybe.” 

“But how do I free myself from these demons now?” 

“You don’t. You just learn how to live with them. You remember what is right and what is good. You remember what matters. Don’t let rage take your heart. And don’t let guilt push you down.”

“I don’t get it. If you’re only a projection from my subconscious, how do I know all these wise and psychological things?” 

“Because you knew me more than you know. And I might have had a good influence on you.” She smiled proud of herself. 

“You sure did.” 

He stared at her for a few moments as she did the same. Suddenly her smile weakened. Something crossing her mind seemed to upset her.

“Do you ever imagine how our life could have been?” 

“Every day. I picture it. I see lots of good days just like the last we had in our dream. Walking the streets of New Orleans like king and queen. I imagine us happy. You part of my family. Part of Hope’s life. Always there to help each one of our chaotic and crazy brains.” 

Both of them chuckled and this time it was Cami who was tearing up. 

“So basically I would still be working for you. And your family.” 

“You would have all the benefits, I don’t think you should complain about helping a little once in a while.” 

He smirked at her knowing that she would get frustrated with his teasing. She rolled her eyes and beat her lip and then looked back at him again, unable not to smile.

“Here there is, that crooked smile thing again.”

Both of them stared softly at each other. These were the few moments he could feel at peace. There were moments where he wanted to smash things and rip out hearts and cut heads, but this helped him stay in line. He didn’t want to be a monster. He had been called so for centuries to the point that he started feeling like one. He recognized himself as one. But when Camille came into his life she made him see that maybe he wasn’t past redemption. He could still change and he did. Of course, this didn’t make him stop killing or chasing whoever threatened him and his family. But there was something more leading him beside the loyalty for his family. It was love. Beside Hope who made him feel that unconditional kind of love, Camille was the first person who made him feel like he could be worth of love. It was hard to believe at first, but eventually she changed all the rules for him. And he owed it all to her.  
And if he had to feel this pain to see her, to feel close to her again, it was okay. He could bear the pain. As long as he could still feel that love still alive in his heart.


End file.
